You can't handle the truth (Discretion)

While reading 1 Samuel 20 not long ago, I thought it was interesting what David told Jonathan to tell his father, King Saul. 

So David said, "Look, tomorrow is the New Moon festival, and I am supposed to dine with the king; but let me go and hide in the field until the evening of the day after tomorrow.

If your father misses me at all, tell him, `David earnestly asked my permission to hurry to Bethlehem, his hometown, because an annual sacrifice is being made there for his whole clan.'

If he says, `Very well,' then your servant is safe. But if he loses his temper, you can be sure that he is determined to harm me.

1 Samuel 20:5-7 NIV

As I read this, it dawned on me that David used Discernment in making wise judgment and acted with discretion. 

Further in 1 Samuel 25, we have the situation of Nabal. 

While David was in the desert, he heard that Nabal was shearing sheep.

So he sent ten young men and said to them, "Go up to Nabal at Carmel and greet him in my name.

Say to him: `Long life to you! Good health to you and your household! And good health to all that is yours!

"`Now I hear that it is sheep-shearing time. When your shepherds were with us, we did not mistreat them, and the whole time they were at Carmel nothing of theirs was missing.

Ask your own servants and they will tell you. Therefore be favorable toward my young men, since we come at a festive time. Please give your servants and your son David whatever you can find for them.'"

When David's men arrived, they gave Nabal this message in David's name. Then they waited.

Nabal answered David's servants, "Who is this David? Who is this son of Jesse? Many servants are breaking away from their masters these days.

Why should I take my bread and water, and the meat I have slaughtered for my shearers, and give it to men coming from who knows where?"

1 Samuel 25:4-11 NIV

Did I mention that Nabal was a wealthy man who had 1000 goats and 3000 sheep? (1 Samuel 25:3). 

I was thinking to myself: what does he stand to lose from sparing maybe 4 sheep?  that's 0.1% of his flock. We read on that David hear the message and was furious. 

Fortunately, Nabal's wife was told about the situation:

One of the servants told Nabal's wife Abigail: "David sent messengers from the desert to give our master his greetings, but he hurled insults at them.

1 Samuel 25: 14

Something I've come to remind and repeat to myself is that: God is capable of letting me see, hear or know that which I need to see, hear or know.  And the information is for action. It's not something to simply acknowledge and do nothing about. Abigail demonstrates this by taking action.

Abigail lost no time. She took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five dressed sheep, five seahs [2] of roasted grain, a hundred cakes of raisins and two hundred cakes of pressed figs, and loaded them on donkeys.

Then she told her servants, "Go on ahead; I'll follow you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal.

1 Samuel 25:18-29 [emphasis mine]

The bible doesn't leave out the fact that she didn't tell her husband. We are made aware of this important fact. And in through her actions, she appeased David who was on his way to come do some wild justice to Nabal's household. (1 Samuel 25:22).  

I've thought about this in light of my mom and I realized she exercised discretion a lot. I felt I finally understood it more than I used to. I realized that someetimes, it's best to act with discretion to avoid arguments. In some cases, there is no time to spare arguing when danger is coming. And in the case of Nabal, I read what happened to him and I realized he was the perfect example of the phrase "you can't handle the truth!" Because, he couldn't. 

When Abigail went to Nabal, he was in the house holding a banquet like that of a king. He was in high spirits and very drunk. So she told him nothing until daybreak.

Then in the morning, when Nabal was sober, his wife told him all these things, and his heart failed him and he became like a stone.

About ten days later, the LORD struck Nabal and he died.

1 Samuel 25: 26-38 

Yes, I have wondered if this is the first evidence of a stroke. I don't know. But it's obvious that Nabal couldn't handle the truth. 

Discretion is best when the other person isn't aware you've used it. Care needs to be taken so it's not seen. As in some cases, it may appear to them as disrespect or disregard. In Abigail's case, she told her husband after her deed – it what looks like transparency – and look what happened to him. He was probably better off not knowing. 

So Discretion is just that - discreet, so that it's not known or sensed. Because when it is known or sensed, it can breed resentment or have other consequences as we see in Nabal. Not all things need to be disclosed. Everyone who asks isn't obligated to know. Some people just need a vague answer or something with Discretion to make them shut up or go away.

Sometimes in some situations, you need to act discreetly for the sake of your conscience, to keep the peace. The important thing is to do what you feel in your heart and think in your mind to be the wisest thing to do. Do not let another human influence your power of choice in making decisions simply becaues of their relationship to you. That person could be as unwise as Nabal, whose own wife called him a fool (1 Samuel 25:25)

(All texts taken from the NIV). 

Image source: https://www.nga.gov/collection/art-object-page.99280.html